A little insight about me.

I am hot-tempered and coldhearted. I am emotional and expressive. I run black and white and spend a lot of time in the undecided grey areas. I am a determined individual, a pine tree in winter, who remains green and with needles. I am bamboo that bends in the wind and won't break under the pressure. I am a violin, a mere body for my soul, bowing out the notes of my words and my faces.

I am considered a mixed match. Personality wise, no matter how many quizzes I take or mental evaluations I ask my doctor to do out of curiosity, I am both passive and earthshaking. For me, it is a matter of time; I am first passive and remain so until excited, which takes some earthshaking in the first place. I've been told my patience (passivity) is phenomenal, though my fuse is short once a good blow is taken. I honestly think it has something to do with those neglected sciences and metaphysics and strange things we can't explain. In God you trust, in Phyllis Vega and Sydney Omar I do.

If the sun is representative of the basic makeup and nature, the moon is representative of the further and the core. I am a native of stages two and twelve of this captivating circle of life. Both the Baby and the Being. Makes sense. The domestic Cow, free to wander, stubborn to move, inquisitive of little unless disturbed. The slippery Fish, elusive, emotional, churning up the waters and swimming in circles. Earth and water. Could make clay. Could make mud. Both would be ideal mixes, as clay can make a pot (a practical application leaning on the Earth) and mud can feed nature (a natural application leaning into Water).

I don't think gravity controls the day you're born or pulls whole stars towards you. I know for a fact that in both retrospects, it is impossible to determine an outlook for a single day for a single individual by this 'science' alone. I believe it's real to consider physics of such predictions as not predictions, but insightful descriptions and determinations, analyzations of what already is, not a casting ground for what's not already proven.

(P. S. - I don't care if things 'come true' to other people. You will believe what you want. You will see what you want. In an artist's eye, you will see what you see before you allow yourself to see what you 'know' or assume. Most people skip straight to the assumption that all typical eggs are white and grown birds eat birdseed and worms. Association is automatic, and this kind of ignorance especially can breed a rather annoying kind of contempt. Even lawyers have a hard time arguing against it no matter how right or logical they are. It borders on the ridiculously hard to break the unwilling and emotionally taken human mind.)

Good Weekend. Good Times.

Quick rundown of the best couple of days I've had in ages:

Friday day/afternoon/night: Had a good nap on the bus up to school. Spent every single block doing absolutely nothing. The band played during lunch for Art Week and they rocked :) Listened to good music and had good conversation with friends on the bus ride down. Made plans for the weekend. Spent some quality time with boyfriend & his car, then headed to mall to see the True Bromance art show. Got T-shirt (supreme, Kaloe! TYVM). Ate at Fernando's (it's good btw).

Saturday morning/afternoon: Woke up after a nightmare that seemed like a mix of several creepy shows I've seen before. My dad said my recollection would make a rather interesting movie. Hmm. Today's mom's birthday ^^ (she's 30! lol). Going to dinner tonight. Looks like beach is going to have to wait til tomorrow. Anyone up to come?

I forgot Monday.

No, actually I didn't. Not in my mind. Monday was an actual free dress day. And for a private school that has uniforms and regulates non-uniform items like backpacks and sweaters, an actual free dress day was a stretch. It was like a spirit week day without the crazy costumes and itchy, hard-to-explain accessories. It was like having a normal day (read: day at home while stopping at school to run the errand of attending classes kind of feeling).

I've never had the opportunity to go to school in normal, casual, playclothes before. I've attended this particular school since kindergarten and the closest I've had to wearing normal clothes are for occasions like field trips, spirit week, and special presentations, which all required 'special' apparel anyway. It was quietly exhilarating to not have to tuck my shirt in, wear something lazy and comfortable (albeit a little sloppy) and not feel like I had to show up starched and pressed like I've tried for the past 13 years at this place. It was simply an understated awesome.

Things That Irk Me.

After spending my entire day talking (thank you, cool teachers/classmates), I found a lot of things that made me laugh. Perfect example: spending 2/3 of lunch break and 90% of fourth block Seminar reading posts on MLIA (http://mylifeisaverage.com/) sends me into fits of laughter that make my stomach hurt. Now what does that have to do with things I find irking? Mostly with the people that are prick enough to think a little humor is stupid, but also those little things that throw me straight off-kilter.

I don't know about you, but some people call me OCD... I hate when I walk into a classroom with dirty whiteboards and a full bottle of cleaner spray sitting on the pen ledge. It makes me feel like cleaning the whole thing off. I hate it when people have such bad grammar, even their texts don't make sense. I'm all for abvtng n shrt msgs, but if I don't understand, don't think I'm going to reply in English either. Saying "Oh, who's this?" isn't that hard to express, is it? Er. Irritatingly enough, another pet peeve of mine are those self-righteous assholes. Yeah. To put it bluntly. Those people that spend all day saying that the world is wrong, and then putting down in permanent ink that it's such a great place to live in. Fuck you. Minor story mixups I'll take, but pure and conscious hypocrisy is... God, please tell me my generation is going someplace, please!

My number one irk: someone that gets ahead and for all sound logic, shouldn't. I'm not talking about the amazing stories about paraplegics that walk again, I'm talking about someone who's not present in class all semester acing the random extra credit on the exam when it was clearly about a conversation we had that they weren't present for. I'm talking about the irritating beginner's luck n00bs get while being babied through their first 19 levels of a game, despite the fact that their help and saviors are fifty levels ahead and should be programmed to make it a touch harder. I'm talking about being the first one to have something and spend days, sometimes weeks, telling people how much you like it and enjoying it for yourself and then someone going to go get it themselves and somehow do a much better job at having it, whether it be a flash game they beat you in, a particular newly discovered name brand, or a keyboard shortcut on the computer. It just drives me nuts. I can't even go back to some games on Facebook anymore because I've been beaten in three days by someone who was previously a full 48,000 experience points behind me, and either found a way to play during school, or is such a loser that they had to hack their way up just to say they're tops. I'm guessing . second one. Asshat. 'Scuse the profanity.

Dear God, if you exist, save me from this kind of patheticism. Thanks.

I'm sorry but I HAVE to talk about this...

Obession. That's one word a lot of people may use, since it's the easiest word to describe or identify this kind of excitement. Dedication, commitment, serious hobby, those are words/phrases I would use. Either way, I log onto my Perfect World account as soon as I come home from school, and leave it running (whether I'm afk or not) until about 10:30 at night.

For anyone who doesn't know yet (haven't heard me rant yet, huh?), Perfect World is an MMORPG. In short, a kind of internet-based game. It's not the first MMO I've played (thank you Matt for dragging me through 99% of the rest I've tried), but it's by far the best. Other people may argue that there's better out there, but either I don't have the money, or you just haven't convinced me to leave my niche in experimenting with different character types and builds.

Personally, I favor venomancers. How lame... NOT. The cheapest, most versatile character you can make (except for the fact that they're only female) is what I like to have a variety of. I like how you can not only experiment with armor types versus character points, but also with the different skill sets one can acquire or even with what kind of pets to train. A veno can tank, a veno can DD, a veno can lure, a veno can be the scariest sh*t you go up against in PVP, or can be the consummate soloer. Why not make a veno? You can be the best at everything (technically, anyone can, but they'd have to go out of their way much more than a veno).

Besides, I admit, spending cash, real-life cash on this game is half the fun. I am a declared Boutique-gamer when I find something worth it. The customizations for characters are already awesome, and buying stuff for them makes it all the more better :) Although it's a relatively new game, there's already a large variety of STUFF to look at and choose, to upgrade and sell or keep, to just trade around and lend people. My main character, xXInvictusXx, is already a clotheshorse to the point of having dressed all my alts and still having plenty of leftover fashion to bank. But don't think I just go after the cool-looking albeit useless stuff. Oh hell no.

I've bought Anniversary Packs to hold until they're worth a bit more than they are now (since they were there for a limited time) to sell later. I spent about three bucks socketing a sword just so I can shard it a second time for more magic attack at a lower level. I have maxed inventory space, maxed bank space, the (almost) fastest aerogear, a (somewhat) rare land mount, pretty decent armor for my level, and the coin to pay for its upkeep. If I wanted to, I'd sell gold and just buy my way through leveling (but that's no fun, and I'd be leaving my pets behind by several levels) but who wants to do that? I don't think it's a bad thing to buy stuff for games when it's not necessary, I just think it's bad to do it to the point of practically cheating your way through. And I'm not doing that. Honest.

I've even gone as far to attempt writing a walkthrough guide. It started with little sheets of paper I wrote in Seminar to give to friends who are just starting so they'd quit asking me certain questions over and over, but it's turning into an actual book with what I've written so far (mostly on venos, surprise, surprise, and quick PVP, buy/sell, equip tips). Ho-ly SMOKE. I'm trying to type them out, but I get too distracted in the process. Message me if you want a copy sometime when I'm actually done typing up what I have.

Anyway, here's some lo-quality screenies of the game, and the website for downloading if you're interested http://pwi.perfectworld.com/. I've successfully recruited three people to serious gaming on PW, and have interested one more... look at what you're missing out on! >:D

Oh, and P.S. if you get to 65+ quickly enough, fill out an application for my guild here: http://pwi-liberate.com/ and don't listen to the sh*t talk about us. It comes from old enemies who are just jealous little kids who couldn't handle Ventrilo with adults. Blah to them.

Been what, two weeks?

Tonight was Winter Ball. The theme was "Ciao Bella" (Hello, beautiful!). Tabetha and I got there a touch early (read: forty-five minutes before everyone else) and waited for other people to show up. The caf was sectioned off, since few were in attendance, and all was well in a casual setting reminiscent of an Italian restaurant. Good food, decent music with a screen to show music videos and a hotline to text shoutouts to... pretty good stuff. We still went home early. Thank you God for inventing such things as excuses. Remind me to bring my camera next time.

In/On My Head...

Mike let me have his pack of apple/pineapple Trident Layers gum. In my words, I found it a touch disappointing that the middle layer melts so easily, and that I didn't taste the pineapple as much as I had hoped, but overall, it was pretty all right.
I'm also going to color my hair. Again. This time, instead of using a "light auburn" I'm actually going to use a strawberry blonde dye. Wish me luck. Last time I didn't get it as light as I wanted, so I hope two bottles of dye will get me where I want it without making my hair too illegal for school. And if it is, well, it's worth it anyway. Yay $2 sale dye from Walmart:

And a "before" pic... Note** it's called a tube top swim suit that I don't mind getting color on.

Bedtime.

Been an interesting day (see above). I just remembered to get at least two strips onto a draft page for my comic section. Very soon ;) Free sample:

Start.

So. I doubt anyone will ever even read this.

I just want to see if anyone will, since every other non-Facebook/non-Myspace self-page internet thingys I've ever made never got viewed, and I forgot all the account info for those anyway, as if I even used them much.

Scratch that, I used my City of Randompolis website for most of junior year until I ran clean out of patience and camera memory to bother uploading my comics (ahem. no scanner. too lazy to borrow one.) or write more of my "short" stories. Oh well. This is it. Still fully under construction. http://paniczero047.webs.com/

Today was as eventful as it was uneventful. It was Senior Project Presentation Day. Needless to say, my presentation passed (as far as my sneak peeks at the scoresheets said) though now the word "powerpoint" instantaneously reminds me of my rocky, stuttering introduction.

After an hour or so of listening/presenting/waiting for the next turn, I decided to skip the invite to have lunch with faculty and decided to immerse myself into a pint-sized world of fingerprints and yelling. Yay preschool. I escaped with a cup of strawberry jello just before naptime and proceeded to drive downtown to a different division of the same Kamehameha Schools preschool so I could borrow a spare admin laptop and check my email.

Sometime around 8:30, Miki came home with a present of a hot chocolate/mug set. Nice.